Anxiety vs. Panic Attacks

I never really knew what the difference was between an anxiety attack versus a panic attack until this past week.  I kind of understood the difference, but I experienced a full on, probably the worst, anxiety attack I have ever had this past week.  

I was at Meijers, had just checked out through the self check outs and was leaving and that damn buzzer went off, triggering me. That buzzer always triggers me because I also suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder and can't stand to be the center of attention or have people looking at me. 

The buzzer also sets me off due to the loud noise and my PTSD.  However, this was the 5th time in the past two weeks this has happened to me!!!! I was embarrassed and  humiliated, I felt like I was being treated like a criminal when I had done NOTHING wrong!!I have been under alot of stress the past 3 weeks with working on the Fundraiser for Rachel, having her pass during, attending the service, my boyfriend lost his job a few days before her passing, battling with his Unemployment claim, scheduling my surgery for next month, taking care of my mom for her surgery this month, all of the Drs appointments in between, starting to see a new Psychologist, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, etc, etc, etc.  I know that I have been stressed and have had periods where it's hard to breath, tightness in my chest, etc. and then this happened and WHAM!!! I got angry, I could feel my face flush and when I got out into my car, I started trembling, sweating profusely and was in tears that did not want to stop.  I knew this was an anxiety attack because the tightness in my chest, breathing, etc wouldn't calm down.  I never actually got total relief from it until after I slept a few hours later that night. What I am finding out with anxiety attacks is that there is usually a build up the attack.

Then one time a few years back, I had a friend over and during our conversation I was asked a question and as I went to answer I couldn't breathe in, LITERALLY, no air would come.  I dropped to the ground gasping for air, feeling like I was going to die (my worst EVER panic attack). I was helped to a fan and sat in front of that trying to breathe.  That subsided after a bit and that is how I now know the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack. 

A panic attack is sudden and many times you feel like you are going to faint or die, but this feeling subsides much quicker than with an anxiety attack.  With the anxiety, that is something that builds inside of you for a period of time and then something sets it off and BOOM, you get the shakes, sweats, trembling, tightness in your chest, lightheaded, crying, etc. and what I never realized before is an anxiety attack can last for hours, days, even weeks whereas a panic attack subsides much quicker AND I didn't feel like I was dying with this attack at Meijers as I did before. 

I've learned and continue to learn so many things through the research of my disorders and illnesses.  It amazes me how much I have learned and how much MORE there is to uncover.  I actually started seeing a Psychologist a few weeks back. 

Finally, I found someone who has a PHD and a Masters in my disorders and I've seen such a difference in the few sessions I have been with him.  It's a total different approach than my past therapists, etc. and it gives me hope that there is help out there for me.  My problem is, I want to learn it all now and learn how to treat everything all at once, but it's a process and I have to learn to be patient (I hate being patient, LOL) and celebrate the baby steps.  

It's taken me MANY, MANY years to find someone who I finally thinks "understands" me and I'm excited!!!  

I know at times it may seem like you will never find someone to help you or understand, but please don't give up hope or give up trying. 

It can be frustrating, defeating and you just want to throw in the towel, but please don't.  Take a break, take some time off, give yourself some time to re-coup and try again. Someone is out there to help you, just please don't EVER give up and remember that you are NOT alone in this fight.  There are MANY of us out there willing to listen, just don't ever be afraid to ask for help.  

Remember, just breathe (see breathing technique above) and celebrate those baby steps.  Every step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction!!